What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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