Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops