Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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a potato flew around my room

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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