If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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