What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

Johnson stops eating

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

69

What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

What did the children in India eat for dinner?

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

I have Alzheimer. What?

You're Adopted.

Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

Straight men can be bronies.

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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