Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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