Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

Justin Beiber

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Why is pi? Because circles.

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

milly, milly, milly, cat

liam buchan is gay !

motley crew

A Frenchman stays and fights

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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