Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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where are you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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