what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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12

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Type 2 diabetics

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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