Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +40

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +40

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops