An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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What's the difference from an muslim and a christian blonde Religion

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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whoa there

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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Q. who's george porchy?

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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