Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

why did i fall? i got pushed!

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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