poop

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knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Obama

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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