What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

My butt!!!!

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

Society.

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

Snausages.

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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