What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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