What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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