Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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hit the thumbs down button

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A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops