Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

69. Yeah- that's my street address.

A black guy with his family.

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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