Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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Anagram.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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knock knock

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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*you're

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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