What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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