What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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How old are you? 20

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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