Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops