Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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haha, you're an orphan

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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Penis

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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69

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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