ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops