What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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