Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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conrad profit

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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thumbs up!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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