What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Women's Rights.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Womens rights.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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