An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Womens rights.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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