Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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