How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Passing by

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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A Weight loss service that works

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops