What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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