Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm gay. No homo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would you rather do or drag a board?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Kendall and Nick Fredick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I like pom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops