What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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want a balloon? yeah

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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My butt!!!!

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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