I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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