What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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hi michael

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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knock knock who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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