Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Dislike this

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Nice weather we're having.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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