I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Vagina ass.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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hi corey

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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