How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops