How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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Penis-Pump

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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The WNBA

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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women's lacrosse.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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