There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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A Banana wrote this...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Mitt Romney.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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