What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did th-A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops