Whats 9 + 10? 19

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7

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Knock Knock Come in

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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