Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A jew go out of a bar

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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