What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What do you eat when you watch porn? Corn

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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The horse said "nay."

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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