What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Are you a human?

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Women Voting

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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