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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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