Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Dislike this

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Nice weather we're having.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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69

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Women's rights...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops