Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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How old is victor? Old

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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