An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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What is next?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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This site is easy to upload to...

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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How old is victor? Old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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