Six million.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Joay impistato is a fig

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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