How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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what do you call a black man named mike

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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