What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

Six million.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

Joay impistato is a fig

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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