as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

alert("The Game");//

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

What's 9+10=? 19

JEWS

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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