what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The Irish man was sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Women's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

96

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops