How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Woman's rights.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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