A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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