What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops