Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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who is awesome? no one...

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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