What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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